Decision of a womanizer – Much Appreciated!
Rakesh announced his decision to not get married at a family wedding! All his relatives laughed and said it was a common announcement by men their age and as time passes, he would change his decision and get married too!
Back in the guest room, Rakesh told his mother –
Rakesh – Mom – I hope you are taking me seriously huh – when I said I won’t marry I mean it too – so don’t look for any girl for me – I am damn serious about my decision!
Mom – I know that you are damn serious ….in fact I am glad that you made this decision!
Rakesh – Oh really!? You looked pretty disturbed in the crowd though…..
Mom – I looked disturbed because the loud mouth that you are – I though you would start saying dumb cliched things like ‘why buy the bakery when you can purchase a pastry’ and other similar things!
Rakesh – yeah – but that is the truth – and the absolute truth – there is no doubt about it!
Mom – But you should not make such rude comments – esp. when two peple are starting their lives together – you have no right to discourage them and make a joke of this auspicious occasion!
Rakesh – (lol) auspicious huh!? After probably two months they will be celebrating this auspiciousness in the divorce court!
Mom – Ravi is a very decent man and I am sure he will shoulder his responsibilities well – don’t judge others by your ‘ultra-horny’ standards!
Rakesh got upset by his mom’s remarks – he raised his voice while he said-
Rakesh – mind your language and don’t try to impose your dumb philosophies on people around you – and don’t say things you don’t have any idea about!
Mom – what philosophy? And what ideas I don’t have? You are my son and I have given birth to you – I will obviously know everything about you.
Rakesh – really – what do you know about me?
Mom – you mean about your ‘ultra-horny’ side? Really ? you are asking me this – as if you have completely forgotten how I had to rush – along with your father – to the police station at 10 pm because you were caught having sex with a female even older to me…..inside the car! We had to pay them 30K to take you out of that idiocy! So at the mere age of 16, you were initiated into the world of sex by some desperate who*re of our locality….
Rakesh – mind your language huh – you don’t call names like this….
Mom – Oh! Are you defending the fairy God mother who agreed to hump you in the car?
Rakesh – What the f*ck is your problem? Do you want me to pay 30K back to you? Is that what you want?
Mom – Don’t raise your voice- this is not our house – we are in a guest room and all the family members and relatives are around – don’t create a scene now! What I am trying to say is that I am very glad about your decision to not get married – because I will not consciously ruin the life of a decent girl by wedding her off to a sex-starved horny loser like you and if you get some like-minded female of your choice – who will eventually become a desperate-housewife in your absence – agreeing to f*ck boys of her son’s age group – well then I will have a problem with some such daughter-in-law – I refuse to go to the police station at ripe old age in order to either release your wife – caught beeping with some horny teenager…or release you…. caught in some brothel ….so I am actually glad that you are not getting married…..
Rakesh – You have a very sick mentality – it is women like you who have stopped all progress in the country – gosh! You make me sick…..
Mom – Yeah – I know – the bar dancers and the sex-workers are the ones who will take the world to the 31st century ……wars are anyways destroying everything – people will start from a scratch….and females will be required as sex-workers only to give birth to children….to become slaves to the ones in power…..
Rakesh – Oof! Just shut up! You have completely lost it – I don’t want to spend even a moment with you….
Saying this Rakesh went out – all disturbed…then he slowly drowned himself in free alcohol and started cracking dumb non-veg jokes to make the other drunkards laugh out loud!