And Then You Say that Children are So Disrespectful, Disobedient & Hateful!

And Then You Say that Children are So Disrespectful, Disobedient & Hateful!

And Then You Say that Children are So Disrespectful, Disobedient & Hateful!

Parents often lament that their children are disrespectful, disobedient, and hateful. However, it’s essential to reflect on who is truly raising these children during their formative years. While you may have given birth to them, the individuals shaping their early experiences are often the basti-bred, famished, frustrated, and illiterate ayahs living hand-to-mouth. These caretakers, entrusted with your precious child, may themselves face significant challenges, sometimes even becoming the targets of abuse from their employers.

Many parents work tirelessly to afford the best education for their children, believing this will ensure a bright future. Yet, the child-rearing responsibilities often fall on domestic help who might not have the means or temperament to nurture children effectively. Stories abound of babysitters who, out of frustration, mistreat the children in their care—sometimes even resorting to violence, as disturbing YouTube videos have shown. Infants being kicked or mishandled because they are cranky and irritating is a horrifying reality for some.

There have also been chilling reports of babysitters using low-grade drugs, like opium, to sedate infants, ensuring they sleep for extended periods.

In one shocking incident, an ayah wrapped a baby in old, dirty cloth and used the infant to beg on the streets. Such extreme examples highlight the potential dangers of leaving children in the care of underpaid and overworked domestic workers.

The presence of grandparents could potentially mitigate some of these risks. At the very least, having grandparents around can provide oversight, reducing the likelihood of abuse by the maid. However, in today’s era of nuclear families, many daughters-in-law are reluctant to have in-laws involved, and many older adults are not eager to take on the demanding role of childcare. They may reason that if they used maids to raise their own children, why should they now become caregivers, dealing with the messes and demands of young grandchildren?

An alternative some parents consider is placing their children in a crèche or daycare. High-end crèches equipped with CCTV cameras connected to parents’ smartphones offer a semblance of security and peace of mind. Parents can monitor how their child is being looked after in real-time. However, not everyone can afford such facilities. Average crèches with no rigorous quality controls can sometimes be just as risky as leaving a child with an unreliable babysitter.

The fundamental issue lies in the disparity between the ideal of providing the best for your child and the practical realities of who is actually raising them. To ensure children grow up respectful, obedient, and loving, parents need to be more involved in their early years. This might mean making sacrifices in career or lifestyle, but the long-term benefits for the child’s development are invaluable.

In conclusion, while it’s easy to blame children for their negative traits, it’s crucial to consider the environment in which they are being raised. Parents must take an active role in their upbringing, ensuring they are surrounded by love, care, and positive influences. The future of your children is shaped not just by their education but by the daily interactions and care they receive from those around them. Choose wisely and be present—your child’s development depends on it.



A Sahaja Yogini ( - mostly meditating for self realization. Had become an ardent spiritual aspirant way back in 1992 after reading Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda - after 10 years, my Spiritual Guru came in my life! If you are seeking the divine, do visit and know all about Kundalini Shakti awakening and self realization!

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